Gentle Parenting is for Gentle Kids… Or Is It?
Recently, a viral TikTok trend has been making the rounds, showing parents sarcastically demonstrating “gentle parenting” by passively asking their child to listen, being ignored, and then snapping—yelling or cursing to get the child’s attention. The underlying message? “Gentle parenting is for gentle kids”—and if your child isn’t naturally cooperative, it doesn’t work.
But here’s the problem: That’s not actually gentle parenting. What we’re seeing in these videos isn’t true gentle parenting—it’s passive discipline followed by frustration-fueled aggression.
• The parent starts off too passive, failing to set clear expectations in a way the child understands.
• The child, confused by the lack of structure, continues the behavior.
• The parent, feeling unheard, escalates to yelling or aggression to regain control.
This back-and-forth between too soft and too harsh creates more behavior challenges, not fewer. Kids don’t learn what to do—they learn that listening only matters when a parent is angry.
Gentle ≠ Passive (and It’s Not Just for “Easy” Kids)
Somewhere along the way, “gentle parenting” started getting mistaken for permissive parenting—where parents avoid conflict, skip consequences, and let the child dictate every interaction. That’s not what gentle (authoritative) parenting is about.
True gentle parenting is structured. It’s built on clear expectations, boundaries, and emotional coaching—not endless negotiation or ignoring behavior. And it’s not just for naturally “easy” kids—it works for every child because it’s about teaching skills, not just managing behavior in the moment.
For Educators & Parents:
This confusion between passive and gentle parenting is also happening in classrooms. Teachers are expected to redirect behaviors without clear guidance, leaving them bouncing between permissiveness and frustration—just like parents. When educators don’t have the tools to set firm boundaries while staying emotionally attuned, classrooms become overwhelming, leading to more challenging behaviors.
Want to learn the step-by-step way to parent & teach with confidence and balance?
My upcoming course dives into real-world strategies for handling tough behaviors while staying firm and connected.
What the self paced course will cover:
The difference between passive, aggressive, and authoritative discipline
How inconsistency confuses kids and leads to bigger power struggles
Why “gentle parenting” isn’t the problem—the misunderstanding of it is
How to set boundaries without yelling or being too soft—for parents & educators
Until my website is up and running, I’ll be sharing updates on my Facebook & Instagram (@TakeAwayTheWalls)
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